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Still focusing on my weight. Slowly but surely.
Start: 177
Now: 150.4
Loss: 26.6
Goal: 135/140

A new me!

If you hadn't noticed this journal has kind of turned into my weight loss journal.
So far I'm down 20.6 pounds!
16.4 to go!
Holy shit. LJ has changed a lot. I don't even know how to use this stupid website anymore.
Good times.
It's funny. I've had this stupid thing for years. I forget about it, then I post a short little blip, then I forget about it again. It's funny to look back and see how people have changed.

Things are great.
Still working at the Bee's.
Buying a new car very soon.
Going to Hawaii for a week. To get away. I have a free couch to sleep on.
I found myself a new boyfriend. [but that's nothing new]
Finished school. Now I need to apply for my AAOT to it's official. Or something.
The End.

God damn.

God damn. I haven't been on here in foreeeever.
Life is good.
For once in my life.
I'm in Florida right now.
Visiting for a week.
It's been amazing so far.
The beaches are white. The daytime is warm.
And I don't think I've ever seen so many sea shells before in my life.


You know what? I wish I could drive to the beach barefoot
and put on some flip-flops before I got out of the car
and walk to the middle of the beach
and just scream and scream and scream
and sit down and listen to the waves through the hood of my sweater.

- * -

Things are the same.
Same old feelings. Same old friends. Same old losses. Same old gains. Same old school. Same old work. Same old paycheck. Same old comforts. Same old nights with pills and booze and fuzzy heads. Same old growing. Same old obsticals. Same old repetativeness. Same old Same old.

I'm taking Yoga next term.
I'm actually really excited.
I hope it's everything my body and spirit is expecting.

I don't know why I'm writing in here.

So long

I wonder some times how I used to write in here multiple times a day, now I can't even write once a month. I wish I had time to keep up with Staci and Rachael and the...other Rachael...and I wish Eddie would write because I remember when I used to get so excited to see whatever he said. I dunno, this thing is probably just dead, but I can't let it go because I put so much time into it...I would just feel like I lost those many hours of my life. Oh well.

I'm doing well.
I'm on perks right now because my knee is killing me.
I'm over at Shaun's. Shaun is my boy. I met him 9 months ago (or so) in writing class.
He got in a car accident Saturday and now his back's all screwed up.
His car's totaled.
But hey, might as well see if the penis still works, right? ;)

I wish Eddie would call me back. I wanna hang out with the bitch tomorrow.
I haven't seen him in forever.
With all of my friends I wish we could just hang out at each others place and be lazy and watch tv and just hang out...or watch movies, play video games, card games, whatever. (I wanna play Yahtzee, damnit!) The only person I can really do that with is Shaun, no one else...thinks of it or invites me or...I dunno. I'm just saying, I wish I could get bored and just go to someone's house and hang out. When we both had time of course. Right now I have more then I used to, for sure. (thank gawd school is out) (C's in all of my classes, but whatever)

Which reminds me. C's?! Seriously. Wtf? I mean, I did earn it by my grades on assignments and several missed ones. But looking back over the classes, I busted my fucking ass! I never had any time. I was completely exhausted all the time and super depressed. Gained 13 pounds because of it. I've thought about what I could have done better and realized all of the other things I should have done. (ie: studying more) But if I would have added that in for my 3 classes plus the assignments I didn't finish I would have been a walking zombie. I was overwhelmed as it was already. I'm not sure how people get through college and survive, but I've promised myself that next term I'm not putting anything off. I'm getting my SHIT done. I'm getting good grades.
I'm also not just taking lame classes. I threw in a photography class, which I'll pay with on my own because I promised myself more important classes would be paid out of my college fund...just so it'll last longer.

My room is finished! The thing that used to be down in the basement is now remodeled and my room. I love it to death, but I don't have any storage yet so there are all kinds of messes. But my Mom said that for Christmas they're finishing my closet and buying me a built-in! Storage! Organized storage! It's something I've always wanted and it will be miiine.

Take in some Buffalo.

Saturday, 9:05 am, I will be leaving.
Going far far away.
Probably the furthest I could go while still being in the US...

I'm flying to Buffalo, NY to see my friend Alli.
There are pictures on here from last year about this time when she came to visit.
I'm so nervous I want to vomit.
My hearts been beating so insanely for 3 days now.
I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
And, to make it better, I'm drinking an energy drink to be able to stay awake tonight and pack. And I'm going to take some shots tonight when Jason comes over and make him cuddle me and feel better.

Things have been going fairly well. Nothing TOO horrible going on. Just the same general stuff, and reacuring things, thinking about old shit. That kind of stuff. But I'm doing well. I'm just SO happy to be leaving here for a week. I haven't went on a REAL vacation in over and year and a half.
A fucking year and a half!

I will have lots of pictures for you all when I come back.
And GOOD ones, since I just bought a scanner and I know how to use my 35mm camera, now. ;)

Aug. 17th, 2005

I have 66 albums on my computer.
Almost all downloaded with dial up.


I just realized how I never use livejournal any more.
No one reads this. I don't get comments. No one gives a shit.
But, I don't give a shit, so that's okay.

There are probably a dozen people I'd like to keep track of.
The rest are being deleted.
It's no offense to you, we just never talk and, well, we never leave eachother comments anyway, so it shouldn't hurt your feelings too much.

And, that's about it.


I've really been trying to ignore the fact that I probably fucked myself over for life.

A few weeks ago, maybe a month ago or so, I was walking across the bridge in Gladstone when my sandles, which I wasn't used to wearing, caught on a lip and I fell straight on my knee. It hurt like a bitch, but I figured it was just bruised and I would be fine when the swelling went down.

Well, the swelling went down a few days ago and...I'm fucked. My knee cap is rotated and it still hurts to walk. Mostly in the morning. It's all stiff and it hurts deep in the joint. Not something painful enough to make me limp, but enough to make me notice it with almost every step.

Fuuuck. I know if I go to a doctor they'll just tell me to leave it and hope it fixes it's self, or get surgery, so it's almost pointless to go to the doctor. But I want to...because...it's a doctor, ya know?
And I had my grandmother look at it, because she was a nurse for years, and she said it looks like I ruptured the fluid pack under the kneecap? Or something like that. Something she said was serious and I should get it looked out asap.

Ugh. I don't know what to do.